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Life, the Universe, and Everything...

They do say that the best way to make the gods laugh is to tell them your plans.  They generally have something a bit different in mind.

I can't write this update without first telling you something of what has happened in my life over the last few weeks.

If you're a regular reader, then you'll know that I had planned on going to Bakewell Wool Gathering, then on holiday with my friends, then writing an update before diving into Christmas preparations.  I guess those things have happened, and I'm grateful for that.  However this blog update was supposed to be followed by a holiday with Stephen to celebrate his 40th birthday, then a nice relaxing couple of weeks to get Christmas knitting done, maybe a visit to Newcastle because I've not been up to visit for a few months.

Instead I was woken on the day I returned from my holiday in Whitby by a phone call from my sister telling me that our step-mam had been admitted to hospital, that the lung cancer we thought was in remission had in fact returned, and spread at incredible speed, and there was nothing more the doctors could do.

As if that wasn't bad enough, while we were there my dad received the results of some tests he'd been having, and we learned that he has Pancreatic cancer.

Through all of my life I have always loved autumn.  It's a beautiful season of the last few warm days, giving way to crisp, frosty mornings.  Stunning colours, rolling mists, and a quality of light that makes everything seem supernatural.  These days I am beginning to dread autumn.  At this time 5 years ago my mam was recovering from major surgery to remove Ovarian cancer, and the shock news that it had spread much further than previously thought, so could not all be removed during the operation.  4 years ago we were grieving the loss of our mam, and worrying about our step-mam after she suffered a heart attack. 2 years ago we were mourning the loss of a family friend so close we count her as family to advanced breast cancer.  This year we lost our step-mam, and our dad received a cancer diagnosis in the same week.  I can't even decide how I feel.  My mood is cycling between crushing grief, stupefying worry, practical repression, guilt for not being there now, and a sort of dull numb feeling.

However, our family deals with stress and pain by doing things to keep our minds off whatever is bothering us.  We all do it.  Not everybody understands it, but it's our way.  I also always need to voice my feelings.  Not everybody understands or likes that either.  But I can only be me, and I am learning that I don't need to apologise for that.  So you're getting the update that I promised, but you've also had a little look into my life and my brain right now.

FOs

OK, so on with the regular stuff.  

I carefully worked out my timings and plans to be sure that I could work on purely selfish projects while on holiday, but get right into the Christmas preparations as soon as I returned.  I've tried my best to stick to that, although I'm currently behind schedule.  However, as I'm no longer going on holiday with Stephen for his birthday I gain an extra week of time, and I'm fully expecting to have plenty of spare time while dad is in hospital for his surgery.

I received the sweetest facetime message from one of my godsons last month.  He has a cuddly toy bunny that reminds him of his marmar, and he sleeps with it every night.  He worried that the approaching winter would mean Bunny gets cold, so asked if I could knit him a sweater.  How on earth could anyone turn down a request like that?!?  After a little discussion we decided that Bunny would need a cardigan instead of a pullover (his head is bigger than his body!) and that it should be green.  Annoyingly I had just 1 button in my button jar that was the perfect size and colour, so I had to settle for some that weren't exactly the right shade of green in order to get a set of 4.

The yarn for this is King Cole Smooth in the colourway 887, and the pattern is adapted from Jack and Jill premature baby jackets by Marianna Mel.

This is a gift for Stephen's cousin's dog.  Although I confess that she may be less impressed with it than her humans!  Unfortunately I have no real dog of my own to model it, so it's being modeled by my plushy corgi from Windsor Castle, and since it's designed to fit a greyhound, it's a bit big for the corgi.

Obviously, all the best dressed greyhounds will be dressing up as unicorns this winter.

The main yarns that I've used for this are Knitting Essentials Sparkle, in the colourway White Sparkle, and Twilleys of Stamford Goldfingering in the colourway Silver for the horn.  The pink for the inner ears, and the blue-purple for the mane were both leftovers from my stash.  The pattern is heavily adapted from To Humiliate the Dog by Amoena Online.

This is the first of my Christmas gifts that I've finished, but the recipient knows exactly what it is, and that he's getting it, so I feel safe posting it before present giving day.  Stephen and Dave have been playing a computer game called Division.  It's the usual post-apocalyptic setting, where everyone runs around with guns killing each other, because that's totally the best way to recover society after a massive catastrophe.  However in this particular game there also seems to be an inordinately large amount of time spent collecting knitwear, especially Scandi style bobble hats.  

The yarns are King Cole Merino Blend DK in the colourways French Navy, and Slate Blue, and Wendy Merino DK in the colourway Brich. The pattern is Duskelue/pompomhat by Tina Hauglund, adapted for 3 colours, DK yarn, and 4mm needles.

WIPs

This is the selfish project that I was working on while on holiday in Whitby.  I chose it mostly because it's pretty, but simple enough to knit while under the influence of a few Bellini's and G&Ts.  Also, it's about at gothy and halloweeny as any knitting project can be.

The yarn is Rye, a merino and silk 4-ply by Batat Hand-Dyed yarns that I bought at Yarndale a couple of years ago.  The pattern is Trailblazer, from Knit, Play, Colour, by Louise Zass-Bangham.

I was working on these before going to Whitby.  I wish I'd got them finished now because it's blimmin' freezin'!!!  I cast them on on impulse because I wanted to use the yarn.  It's one of the yarns that I bought at Bakewell, and I just had an urge to use it straight away.  The stitch markers were bought at Bakewell too.

The yarn is handspun merino and sparkle by Emstead Leicester Longwools, it's roughly light-fingering/heavy laceweight, and the colourway is called "Enchanted Forest".  The pattern is Wood Elves Gloves by Christelle Nihoul.

I'm also working on a second Scandi bobble hat, but so far it's just a circle of dark blue ribbing, and not terribly exciting to look at.

Stash Acquisition

With the exception of the green handspun that's already become half a pair of gloves, this is what I bought at Bakewell Wool Gathering.  This is an actual sweater quantity of luxury yarn for me from The Knitting Swede, it's Charisma heavy lace, in the colourway Dark Science.  Then there's a skein of Merino sparkle sock yarn by Rosie's Moments, in the colourway Anemone.  A skein of Merino sock yarn by Peak District Yarns, in the colourway Fireworks over Brodwell.  Then there are 2 undyed skeins from DT Craft & Design, one DK singles of BFL/Masham, and one 4-ply BFL sock yarn, I'm intending to use these to continue my adventures in natural dying.

Holidays have to include souvenir yarn, and Whitby is no exception, even though I've been there nearly every year for 15 years.  Last year Bobbins moved to a new location, and this was the first time I've been there.  It's sort of weird not going into the old church to buy yarn, but I can't deny that it was nice having the shop closer to where we were staying.  I didn't really need anything, so I just picked up 100g of purple 4-ply pure wool for making socks with pretty cable patterns, and a ball of Debbie Bliss Fine Donegal, in the colourway 54015, that I think will make a lovely textured shawl.  I also picked up some sweet rainbow buttons, and pink elephant buttons while I was in there.  The rest of this haul were actually gifts from Kelly, who spotted the recycled sari silk, and the wooden animal buttons while he was out and about.  I've put the buttons in this section, even though they're also penguins!

This is comfort shopping, plain an simple.  After one especially distressing visit to the hospital dad and I were driving home when he declared that he'd like to go for a drive along the coast to clear his head.  As my favourite North East yarn shop is Ringarosie's in Whitley bay, I figured we could make that our destination, and then meander home afterwards via the scenic route.  I went straight to the back of the shop, past all of the acrylic, past the inexpensive wool blends, this was a level of distress that only the good stuff could help.  

So here we have a skein of merino sock yarn dyed by the lady who runs the shop, in the colourway Heads or Tails, 2 mini-skeins of her hand dyed 4-ply singles in lovely tonal purples, and greens, a crazy Zauberball in the colourway Charisma, and 2 Opal mini-skeins, just because I have a strange fetish for mini-skeins of sock yarn.

This is my advent calendar. It's huge!  It barely fits in my lightbox.  Knit Nottingham got these in in October, and I had to have one.  Now it's going to get me through what promises to be a very tough December as I open a window to yummy smooshies every day.  

I'm going to use this as my touch-stone with the real world throughout December, and do a mini-update as often as I can, every day if it's possible, sharing with you all what's behind the door I've opened that morning.

Penguins

I actually forgot to put this in the last update, but that there is my favourite place in the world.  My lovely, warm, comfy, penguin covered bed, that I finally got to sleep in again for the first time in over 3 weeks last night.  The penguin bedspread is new though, my others all have stars on them, but this one is fleecy, and warm, and perfect for the current sub-zero overnight temperatures.

This is not a badly photoshopped penguin, this is a penguin shaped cushion that was a gift from Krissy to say thank you for my giving her a lift to Bakewell. He now lives in my nest.

Christmas is approaching, penguins are everywhere, including in the supermarkets when I'm doing my food shopping.  That's just cruel.

Hospital entrance halls these days resemble airport departure lounges.  There's always a coffee shop, and a newsagents, and a florist, and a little shop run by a medical charity that sells cuddly toys.  This one is from Rotherham General Hospital where we'd gone for Stephen to be fitted with a prosthetic to help him breathe better at night.

Awkward Penguin!  That's his name forever.  My sister, my elder niece, and I were shopping in Meadowhall and we found a stand of cuddly toys on 3 for 2. There was an incredibly cute dragon with a sad face who I felt needed to belong to Stephen.  There was a pink puppy with blue and orange splodges that my niece loved, and there was this fellow for me.  Except he didn't have a bar code, so when I took him to the checkout they couldn't scan him.  They went back to the stand to find the number to enter him manually, and the number wasn't there.  They tried pushing every button on the till to find him, and couldn't!  Eventually they found a way to put him through just because he was effectively free, but I'm sure they had all kinds of faff later to make sure that their stock count was correct!

I got back to the cottage in Whitby one day to find this on the coffee table in front of the seat that I'd claimed for the week.  Kate had spotted it while out, and decided that I needed it.

This is what happens when you put a penguin lover under stress for a fortnight in the run up to Christmas.  Some of these things were bought for practical reasons - I needed more than one set of PJs if I was going to spend many nights sleeping on my step-dads sofa, it's not a big surprise that I chose some with a penguin in a top hat on them.  I only took a couple of days worth of clothing up with me, partly because I packed in a hurry, and partly because having just returned from holiday, more than half of my regular wardrobe was in the laundry, so I supplemented my wardrobe with a trip to the supermarket to buy pants and sweaters, including one with skiing penguins on it.  As for the rest?  Pure therapy.  2 from the hospital shop in the Sir Bobby Robson Cancer Care building, a couple from supermarkets, and a tumbler from Starbucks where I had a lovely meet up with Deborah, a school friend who I've spoken to on Facebook, but haven't seen in person for 23 years.  I'm looking forward to meeting up with another school friend next week too, so aside from an excuse to spend my entire Christmas savings on yarn and penguins, there are some advantages to the current situation.

Well, sorry for the rather downbeat tone of this post, here's hoping for happier times ahead!  So I'll end on a cheerier note, with this yummy penguin biscuit lollipop that Kelly bought to welcome me home :)